


A Day in the Life of the Boy (Or, Man) Who Lived (Twice)

by thearcherballet



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anti Pineapple Pizza, Auror Harry Potter, F/M, Joke Interview, Journalist Ginny Weasley, my boy Harry is Bisexual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 09:45:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11250567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thearcherballet/pseuds/thearcherballet
Summary: In an unprecedented interview, famed journalist and Quidditch player Ginny Weasley delves deep into the life of one of the Wizarding World’s most elusive figures: her husband, Harry Potter.





	A Day in the Life of the Boy (Or, Man) Who Lived (Twice)

**Author's Note:**

> this was born out of texts with Janna and Sasha and a nice Father's Day. Happy Father's Day to my son, Harry James Potter.

A Day in the Life of the Boy (Or, Man) Who Lived (Twice)

By: Ginny Weasley

**_In an unprecedented interview, famed journalist and Quidditch player Ginny Weasley delves deep into the life one of the Wizarding World’s most elusive figures: her husband, Harry Potter._ **

 

_ It’s a special day in the Potter-Weasley household. His daughter has decided she doesn’t want to eat meat anymore and is adamantly rejecting any sort of food that might come from an animal. Harry James Potter looks flustered, something he doesn’t get to do often with his mostly level-headed responses to his family’s antics. He looks at me to see if I can reason with his daughter, but I am merely a spectator on this day.  _

_ Potter has been on the other end of many wands, but today he finds himself on the other end of an interview. In his daily life, he’s a husband and father, but maybe the workload as an auror is finally getting to him. In a surprising move, the bogged down man accepted an exclusive interview from yours truly, after many a speculations from reporters like Rita Screecher around his life.  _

_ We sit in his dining room table, where files and memos from his office are piled to one side as he tries to mend his work robes all by himself. He doesn’t look like the young boy who once rode out of Gringotts on a blind dragon, with grey hairs beginning to pop into his still-unmanageable hair and his beard. His specs are slightly askew and he might need new ones by the way he squints down at the fabric in his hands. There are bags on the floor from a trip to the store earlier that day. _

**Ginny Weasley (GW): Let me get straight to it, the question on everyone’s minds: what was it like to die twice?**

Harry Potter (HP): Loads of fun, everyone should try it.

**GW: I mean, you did vanquish Voldemort, is that correct?**

HP: I guess.

**GW: So, what now?**   
HP: I’ve got groceries to put away.

**GW: Did you get the lettuce I like?**

HP: They were out of romaine, so I had to get iceberg. Is that fine?

**GW: I guess. You didn’t bring any beetroots, did you?**   
HP: Why would I bring beetroots? No one eats beetroots. 

**GW: Dunno, maybe it was a Voldemort craving.**

HP: I only ever saw him drink unicorn blood that one time, so he could’ve eaten beetroots for all I know.

_ In that moment, our conversation is interrupted by the youngest child of his to ask if  _ she  _ could eat beets. He says she could but they could turn her purple. That seemingly delights her and now we have to buy beets next trip to the market and end up ruining this fine balance of not eating beets in our household. As she flits off, he resumes fidgeting with his work robes. _

**GW: What happened to your robe sleeves?**

HP: Someone accidentally singed them and I’m trying to mend them.

**GW: Is that why you wouldn’t pass the butter this morning?**

HP: It definitely wasn’t because of the fact that you got angry at me yet again for forgetting to put the toilet seat down again.

**GW: I grew up among boys, I’d like this household to be sacred and have toilet seats down for once in my life. Anyway, this is about you, not me.**

HP: All right.

_ He shows me the repaired sleeve and it looks better. I don’t dare tell him it still smells burnt out of respect for his pride. _

**GW: Let’s get to the bottom of yet another quandary in everyone’s minds: why don’t you sort your colors and whites?**

HP: They’re all going in the same wash. I don’t care if my white socks turn red because of it.

**GW: Truly a madman.**

HP: We’re all going to die, it’s not going to be because my socks turned red.

**GW: Yes, but you’ve not-died twice, there’s probably some connection to your appalling sense of style.**

HP: Maybe the fact that I don’t wash my clothes as they should be is why I haven’t died yet.

**GW: Nonsense, that’s like saying that the fact that I haven’t won any journalism awards is because I haven’t written about you.**

HP: This’ll probably win you some awards then. 

**GW: I sure hope so. You received an owl earlier today. Should we be worried about you having another lover?**

HP: Yeah, it was your brother asking me if I wanted to go grab a pint tonight. 

**GW: Is it a date?**

HP: No, for the record. I’m very happy with my wife, though when she burns my sleeves I’ve thought about how attractive Neville [Longbottom] is.

**GW: He’s married too. Are you saying you’re in love with the Hogwarts professor? Or do you just have a thing for married people?**

HP: He’s not bad on the eyes nowadays. Alas, he’s married too. What’s up with that, everyone being married now.

**GW: Some might say it’s time and people wanting to be with people they love.**

HP: Is that why we have three children?

**GW: We have** **_three_ ** **? I thought you had some illegitimate children too.**

HP: Who knows, I might’ve had one or two while I was busy running around Britain and saving the world.

**GW: You want that on the record?**

HP: Nothing I say is of consequence.

**GW: Don’t let your children hear you say that, they might take advantage of you.**

HP: James takes knuts from my robes’ pockets when he thinks I’m not looking; they already take advantage of their poor father.

**GW: Well, thank you for this refreshing take on your day-to-day life. Is there anything you wish to tell the rest of the world?**

HP: Pineapple on pizza. What’s up with that? I did not die twice for pineapple to be put on pizza. 

_ Once again, his daughter comes into the kitchen asking for a ham sandwich. When pointed out that ham is meat that comes from pigs, she shrugs and says that pigs are okay to eat. Potter peers over at me and pinches the bridge of his nose before getting up to make his daughter a ham sandwich. I also get up to help him put away the groceries. A small crisis has been averted today and Harry Potter lives to tell the tale. _


End file.
